smoking woes

On my birthday, I vowed never to buy packs of cigarettes again since I realized that quitting smoking cold turkey was unrealistic. I’ve done good so far, except for the purchase of Prime Time cigarillos (Peach, Raspberry and Vanilla are the best IMHO).

My biggest issue is that sometimes I just crave a hit, just ONE, not twenty or 7 dollars worth, but I can’t get it. When I’m begging for cigarettes, I am at the mercy of whatever people are smoking: cheap natives, duMaurier most of the time, Belmont, Number 7, Menthol Marlboros, B&H Light (yuck), B&H Ultra Light (yuck, yuck, yuck). The problem is that my 20 Peter Jackson, Regular isn’t a constant good. When you get a good pack, it feels amazing, but it only happened about every second pack.

When I crave a cigarette, I want my hit but I don’t even know where to get it, so I buy cigarellos now because I’m tired of shitty cigarettes. Though they leave a sweet aftertaste, they have no impact on me. It’s like when I bought a pack of natural cigarettes and died from the lack of lethal chemicals.

Do I still smoke? Yes, kind of, but not for long. I miss having a good cigarette. That always seemed to fix all my problems.

~ by alittlefish on June 5, 2009.