Isabelle’s Schedule

I will post and update my schedule whenever I know of it. All “study” time can questionably be changed for hang-out time. All unclaimed time can be turned into hangage, also.

on and on

sometimes I find myself very stubborn and close-minded. sometimes I ask myself why I am the way I am; who we are depends on who we were and I often find myself boggled down by my past. I am myself because it’s the only way I know. these days I am looking for myself by doing things Isabelle would never do, or by doing things Isabelle hates or Isabelle had avoided or stopped doing. I’m making a retrospect of 23 years of Isabelle. I need a challenge.

Recently, I realized that I lack a certain amount of common sense. I waited for M on MSN the other day to ask if he wanted to hang out but he didn’t come so I went to bed. When I woke up, I saw him online and told him I waited for him yday… then he asked me why I didn’t text him instead; truth is, the thought hadn’t even crossed my mind…

aiya…

quitting smoking update

this is actually going a lot better than expected!
for my birthday (may 22) I decided to stop buying packs of cigarettes. which I followed to the letter… I just started buying too many cigarillos (aka one pack of three every two days), june 22 I decided to stop smoking unless someone is offering it and go for the occasional cigarillo IF NEEDED… so far I haven’t smoked yet except for one PJ on Tuesday.

I started to lose the habit, I still think of smoking but it is easier to kill the urge. Smoking these days makes me feel a little faint, since it’s so warm outside, cigarettes are really a winter pastime. I thought quitting smoking would be hard… all I needed was determination, who knew?

some rules I live by:

1) don’t shit where you eat, aka, don’t date in the workplace, in class, etc… because when things go bad, it becomes a group decision or seems a lot worst than it really is.

2) do unto others as you would want it done to you, aka, karma’s a bitch.

3) fearlessly take the least frequented road, aka, why chose to blend in when you can stand out

4) You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take, aka, when you tempt nothing you get nothing.

5) don’t be afraid to be yourself

6) maintain your self-respect; ask yourself if you can live with yourself today, cause the only person you really have to put up with is yourself.

7) it’s never too late; if you can’t have it, it’s becase you don’t want it bad enough

8) always try to help out, or brighten someone’s day when possible; every small gesture counts.

9) always look on the positive side; there’s always something to be thankful for.

10) use your critical judgment; don’t do something just because someone is doing it, make sure that you can live with yourself at the end of the day.

11) life is hilarious. if you don’t agree, just keep on laughing until you find the humor in it.

maria’s back

we’re a group and when someone’s missing then the equation is unbalanced. maria came back from France yesterday after 6 months and though her absence didn’t bother me too much, her return is definitely welcomed. the puzzle is complete again and everyone is happy. I don’t know if she’s the glue that keeps us together, or if it’s just the fact that we always do everything together but I’ve missed my ‘girls’. always together, we create the perfect puzzle where everyone is welcomed and everybody belongs. we are all so used to each other, communication is almost unecessary. fried calamaries. potatoes. a huge pot of tzatziki. fighting over the music. no olives or mushrooms. tons of water. eating only pizza crusts. conversations about randomosities. it’s routine but it feels good.

what can i do?

when you stare at someone for too long, one of two things happen: they either become more attractive, or they start to look like nonsensical lines. The latter was my standard, but lately I begin to find everybody more and more attractive; it’s a disease! I guess the concept of “glass is half empty” should be applied… or maybe my horniness has recently quadrupled.

smoking woes

On my birthday, I vowed never to buy packs of cigarettes again since I realized that quitting smoking cold turkey was unrealistic. I’ve done good so far, except for the purchase of Prime Time cigarillos (Peach, Raspberry and Vanilla are the best IMHO).

My biggest issue is that sometimes I just crave a hit, just ONE, not twenty or 7 dollars worth, but I can’t get it. When I’m begging for cigarettes, I am at the mercy of whatever people are smoking: cheap natives, duMaurier most of the time, Belmont, Number 7, Menthol Marlboros, B&H Light (yuck), B&H Ultra Light (yuck, yuck, yuck). The problem is that my 20 Peter Jackson, Regular isn’t a constant good. When you get a good pack, it feels amazing, but it only happened about every second pack.

When I crave a cigarette, I want my hit but I don’t even know where to get it, so I buy cigarellos now because I’m tired of shitty cigarettes. Though they leave a sweet aftertaste, they have no impact on me. It’s like when I bought a pack of natural cigarettes and died from the lack of lethal chemicals.

Do I still smoke? Yes, kind of, but not for long. I miss having a good cigarette. That always seemed to fix all my problems.

BananaShip pt II

So, to Karla’s request, I am updating my blog:p I’m beginning to see a trend here…

Things are getting more stable in BS where our team is slowly stabilizing. I’m still ridiculously outta shape and wonder how I’ll make it through the races. I went to Concordia’s LeGym on Monday but this British guy wouldn’t let me sign up because the price would go down on June 1st. that’s sweet but I’m running out of time! he let me in for free for the day though. G and G were there, I noticed only towards the end so I limped away ungraciously.

Finally, I think Bo was scared of BS and won’t be joining us. our first fundraising event (the speed dating on a boat) won’t work out… we’ll be bagging instead! (oh yea!)

I might end up drumming for BS but nothing is confirmed yet. I got my period right while I was stretching during practice yday… talk about legendary bad timing… we went to eat at Scores afterwards and I surprisingly (or not) ran into LC who always recognizes me from the back. We had awkward conversation and moved on with our lives.

Life is getting redundant in its repetition where every guy I speak to believes I am into him. the NC problem was “solved” when he started believing I was going after his coworker (what?). Obviously I should stop “leading” these guys on (this guard at CMR keeps screaming 10-1 in a paki accent into his radio – it’s hilarious), but I am not even flirting with anybody – go figure.

More people showed up at the last landtraining, there were 9 of us… it was so ridic nice out. I was late but there were less running this time around :p

And, what did I do for my birthday? on Fri, M, J + 1, A, KK and I went to the Old Port with a bottle of bubbly, bummed around by the shore and blew bubbles. On Sat, D, B+1 and I went to La Banquise to have gourmet poutine… really gourmet but not that great. On Sunday, D and I went to Tokyo where the all-you-can-eat is cheap but also very bad. I got my helix pierced and headed to Pizzaiole downtown where more people showed up than I thought. a lot of people were outta town but we were nine and I only expected 5 people. I should give myself a lot more credit, I am told that I am too tough on myself…

but, anyway, I babble.